Going through a divorce when you have children means that you can’t decide to completely cut ties with your ex. Instead, you’ll have to work to raise the children together. While many exes can do that without issues, there are times when one parent doesn’t do what’s best for the children.
One issue that can occur is parental alienation, which involves behaviors that pressure the child to fear, reject, dislike or distance themselves from the other parent. If you believe that you’re the victim of parental alienation, you must learn about some of the signs.
Signs of parental alienation
If your child is being affected by alienating behaviors, they may do things that you don’t understand. Some common examples include suddenly refusing to visit you or making harsh accusations without details. They may show intense anger that isn’t warranted by the situation. They might seem afraid to share positive memories or show affection.
These signs are often because the child is being groomed by your ex to view them as the good parent and you as the bad parent. This isn’t always done directly, but could be the result of the child hearing negative comments about you. In some cases, the alienation is direct because your ex may interfere with your relationship with the child.
Alienation versus safety concerns
It’s important to recognize that parental alienation concerns are much different than situations where there is a valid safety concern. A child may reject visits or contact if they have a valid reason, such as neglect, abuse or high-conflict behaviors. Courts will look for facts, patterns and evidence rather than just labels.
Cases involving parental alienation often come with significant documentation, such as missed visits, screenshots, calendars, school records and unanswered messages. Examples of interference are also common in these cases.
Parental alienation is a significant child custody issue that you must take seriously, but it can be an emotionally challenging situation. Working with someone familiar with these matters may be beneficial since they’re so complex.