Maintaining respectful communication isn’t always an easy task when it comes to co-parenting with one’s ex. Thankfully, if you and your child’s other parent are determined to make your relationship work for your child’s sake, there are things you can do to improve your circumstances and minimize your stress.
For example, one effective way to reduce conflict and protect children and parents alike from emotional harm involves including non-disparagement provisions in a parenting plan. These provisions prohibit each parent from speaking negatively about the other in the presence of the child and can help to facilitate the goal of creating a stable and supportive co-parenting environment.
What is a non-disparagement arrangement and how does it work?
A non-disparagement clause is a legally binding part of a parenting agreement or custody order. It functions much in the same way that a corporate non-disparagement clause in an employment or business contract does. It typically requires both parents to avoid making critical, insulting or disrespectful comments about the other parent in front of their child or in communications the child could overhear or read. This includes verbal statements, texts, emails, social media posts and conversations with third parties when the child is present.
The primary purpose of these provisions is simple: to shield the child from unnecessary emotional stress (although it can certainly shield each co-parent from unnecessary stress, too). Children naturally want to love and feel safe with both parents. When one parent speaks poorly about the other, it can create confusion, guilt or feelings of being caught in the middle. Over time, exposure to conflict or disparaging remarks can damage a child’s relationship with one or both parents and may even affect their emotional and psychological development.
Non-disparagement provisions also help reduce the likelihood of co-parenting disputes escalating. When parents are legally obligated to maintain a basic level of respect in their communications, it sets the tone for more productive problem-solving and cooperation. It can also protect against claims of parental alienation—a situation where one parent actively tries to damage the child’s relationship with the other parent, which courts take very seriously.
Incorporating a non-disparagement clause into a parenting plan should be done thoughtfully. The language must be clear, enforceable and realistic. Seeking personalized legal guidance is a great way to learn more.