Oftentimes, the biggest sources of conflict for divorcing or divorced couples revolve around their children. Many co-parents consider child custody and support intertwined, and that misconception can cause a specific kind of tension.
Too often, one parent will withhold child support if the other parent is finding ways not to make their child available during their scheduled parenting time. Conversely, if a parent gets behind on child support payments, the other parent may tell them they can’t see their child until they pay up.
Both arrangements are for your child’s benefit
While doing either of those things might seem fair, if you or your co-parent are embracing these approaches, the actions in question are not fair to your child. It’s also likely a violation of a court order. Both child support and custody orders are largely for a child’s benefit. Both parents are required to support their child to the best of their ability.
Parents don’t pay support to have access to their child. Not allowing access cannot be a consequence of failing to pay the required child support. This isn’t a quid pro quo situation.
What if you can’t pay required child support?
If you’re unable to meet your child support obligations – for example, if you’ve lost your job – it’s critical that you notify the court. Even if your co-parent agrees to take less for a time, you’d still be violating a court order that’s in place for your child’s well-being. Temporary and permanent modifications can be made when the situation warrants it.
If it’s your co-parent who’s not meeting their support obligations, you can take steps to collect the money. However, refusing to let them have custody or visitation time isn’t fair to your child – and can get you in trouble with the court.
What if your co-parent is withholding access?
If your co-parent isn’t making your child available at agreed-upon or ordered times, it’s best if you can resolve the matter with them. However, if you can’t, it may be time to take the matter to court.
If you’re in any of these situations, a good first step is to get legal guidance. This can help you protect your child’s well-being and your parental rights as well.