Divorce may be the right decision for everyone involved, but that doesn’t mean it’s easy. Parents can find it especially difficult because they have more than themselves to think about.
Children tend to blame themselves when things go wrong between their parents, which makes the conversation about divorce much more sensitive. Thankfully, there are some methods that parents can apply to break the news more effectively. Here are some things to keep in mind.
Reassurance is key
As mentioned, children can blame themselves when their parents fall out. It’s important that this is addressed straight away in the divorce conversation. You can tell your children why you are separating, without going into every minute detail.
Some parents find it beneficial to tell their children that while they no longer love one another romantically, they will still remain friends and parents to the child. If it’s possible to highlight the optimistic sides of the divorce, such as remaining friends and going on to pursue happier lives, then this can be helpful for the child.
Avoid blame
One thing that should definitely be avoided is all narratives that attach blame. It’s important that a child is never placed in a position where they feel they have to take sides. Instead, parents should use a “we” narrative to emphasize that the decision was a joint one in the best interests of all parties.
Break it down for them
The sooner children are prepared for changes, the better. It can help to tell them in advance how the new family dynamic will work. For example, will one parent be moving out? How will the child maintain communication with that parent? Will they be able to visit them regularly?
Stability is key for children and telling them what they can expect to change, as well as remain in place, can be helpful.
As you navigate divorce as a parent, seeking legal guidance can help you to keep matters peaceful and efficient.