“There’s no simple answer.”
Thus state a couple who are divorce coaches and mediators in an article pursuant to which they offer up some divorce tips for would-be splitting partners.
That above declaration is essentially their most fundamental rejoinder to this very pertinent divorce-related question: Once a person has determined that divorce is an absolute necessity, how does that individual broach the subject to a partner?
Clearly there lacks, as the authors readily note, a “one-size-fits-all” process and scheme — a script, if you will — for raising such a matter.
And, owing to that reality, the advice rendered by Joe and Cheryl Dillon is necessarily a bit generic. That is not to say that what they note isn’t helpful, but it is understandably tinged with common-sense notions and marked by some rather loose parameters.
To wit: Advice to “be prepared” when dropping the ‘D” bombshell on a spouse is rather obvious. Of course, preparation in a given case is largely dependent on a spouse’s knowledge of what a partner already knows and feels about the state of the couple’s marriage. Maybe it’s already quite clear to both parties that their union is doomed, so bringing up the topic is no big deal. In fact, the overture might be welcomed.
Conversely, though, a partner not on the same page could be blindsided and flatly stunned by a divorce proclamation.
Other divorce-focused tips offered up by the Dillons include choosing the right time and place and keeping emotionally cool while delivering the message. That is certainly in-the-pocket advice, but nothing that would stand as an epiphany to most people contemplating a divorce.
What might strike many people as soundly cautionary advice is the recommendation to basically keep a lid on detailed information while initially raising the subject. As the Dillons note, it is not especially timely to simultaneously couple a divorce dictate with a deep discussion on property division matters and child custody considerations.
Delving into those topics should be delayed, the authors state, with “appropriate guidance from a professional” being advised.
For many people, that professional is often a proven family law attorney well-versed in serving clients across the full spectrum of divorce-related matters.